


Ignotum Per Ignotius

by Katrinalebowitz



Category: RICE Anne - Works, The Lives of the Mayfair Witches - Anne Rice
Genre: Aaron Lightner, Anne Rice - Freeform, Isthisfandomstillalive?, Lasher - Freeform, Lighttouching, Love, M/M, Pre-Blood Canticle, Talamasca, Taltos, TheLivesoftheMayfairWitches, Wewatchwearealwayshere, Witches
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-12
Updated: 2017-06-12
Packaged: 2018-11-13 10:49:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11183565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katrinalebowitz/pseuds/Katrinalebowitz
Summary: (The Unknown by the more Unknown is the translation for the Latin title)It has been eight years since Yuri Stefano lost his friend and father Aaron Lightner, eight years since he became involved with the Mayfair Witches, and eight years since he met Ashlar Templeton. For all this time, Yuri has kept his promise to not try to contact him, but he has heard nothing from Ash since that long ago night in the tower. Finally, Ash returns.I have only uploaded half of the story, not sure if I'm confidant enough to post it. If I continue there will be original characters...but otherwise I try to keep it pretty canon.





	Ignotum Per Ignotius

The Talamasca carries on. What an inherently typical British trait, settle down, pour a cup of tea (or rather coffee), and let’s get on with it. Even with the recent heinous acts committed by fanatics and loyalists alike, Yuri couldn’t stop feeling resentful towards his brothers and sisters at the Talamasca. 

The night that Tommy and Marklin had been interred in the pit beneath the Mother House Joan Cross had assured Yuri that everything was put right again. _We excommunicated them, Yuri. They are no danger to anyone now. No danger to anyone indeed._ Yuri knew what she really meant. 

Everyone treated him with kid gloves now. It only made the resentment grow, of course he knew what had become of Tommy and Marklin. Yuri saw the group descend in the lift, he had seen the bricks being transported shortly thereafter. Yuri knew that the members of the Talamasca lacked malice for the most part, but when it was wronged it could and would weed out and exterminate the perpetrators without mercy. 

It had taken only a few late nights of wandering around the cellars of the Mother House before Yuri came upon the strange dank staircase that led to a mine-like hallway that descended to a freshly mortared brick wall. Yuri laid his hands over the smooth brick reverently, like it was some royal tomb. He thought he would feel something like guilt or even righteousness toward the two traitor’s fate, but he only felt empty and alone. Painfully alone. 

The return to the easy comfort and politeness of the Talamasca left a bitter taste in his mouth. His assignments were few and far in between, usually simple things like research this missing person or deliver these memos to so and so. He felt like a typical call boy again like in his very early years in the Talamasca, and to an extent, he didn’t mind it. He was tired after all. 

The truth of the matter was, Yuri hadn’t been himself since the cataclysm that shook the Talamasca. He had been neurotic, walking aimlessly at times throughout the streets of London, looking like a vagrant in his careless attire and sluggish steps. He would watch people around his age laughing in pubs, watching football matches and heartily engaging in life. He felt apart from everything. 

Now Yuri was only observing life. He mused it was a very Talamascan thing to do, watch but do not get involved… _Well that went well didn’t it?_ Yuri knew it was foolish to blame himself for getting involved with the Mayfair witches, the Mayfair’s became his concern the second Aaron had made them his family. He would have done nothing differently. If only he could have controlled his feelings and slowly crumbling mind at the time, maybe he wouldn’t be this ghost of his former self. He resorted to wandering through life, afraid to trust anyone, shying away from people he had known for most of his life in fear of them realizing how disenchanted he was. Maybe if he hadn’t of gotten so involved… 

Yuri couldn’t even say Ash’s name without feeling like he was betraying his wishes. Yuri felt that uttering his name might betray him somehow. _In the days that follow, I promise, I will contact you._

Well, a year had passed. Then two, then three. Still, Yuri thought, what is a few years to him? Yuri wasn’t old, he wasn’t on his death bed yet, maybe Ash meant days metaphorically. Yuri could be patient, he could wait. Yuri had been contacted by Rowan Mayfair and Michael Curry often at first. Whenever Christmas would come around Michael would plead for him to come to New Orleans to the First Street house. Beatrice would love for him to be there and Michael just knew that it would get Mona out of bed… 

That had been a blow to Yuri’s conviction. Only a few years after the events in Scotland Michael spoke with him hushed over the phone about Mona’s illness. In the beginning it was only slight fatigue, fainting spells and fits of nausea, then she wasn’t eating and she was asleep more than awake. Soon she was spending most of her time at Mayfair Medical, Yuri imagined her sleeping in white sheeted hospital beds with bouquets of flowers on bedside tables. Yuri couldn’t face her, he knew it was a cowardly thing to do but he could not go to her. He couldn’t go to her like he was, broken and only half aware himself. She had her family. All the while he had an inkling that there was something that Michael wasn’t telling him, Yuri could hear it like Michael’s Catholic guilt over the phone wires. Something very serious had happened to Mona. Something that had to do with her pregnancy… 

Too loyal to betray Ash’s wishes, Yuri asked Michael rarely about Ash. It was then that Yuri would catch the hitch in Michael’s breath, and then an offhanded remark “Oh, He’s fine, we haven’t spoken recently…” or “He’s a busy guy, you know how he likes his privacy…” Saying something while saying nothing at all. 

Seven years had gone by before Yuri, who had been growing farther and farther away from the Talamasca, thought to hell with it, he isn’t ever coming. Ash broke his promise, or maybe it was never a serious promise. Maybe it was just something to keep Yuri from contacting him. To shut him up. Yuri wasn’t fit to be a companion or confidante, Yuri was just a lackey for aging scholars of the supernatural. How could he be trusted? 

Yuri filled his time with reading mostly. He read lots of fiction, something he had not had time for when he was a full time novice of the Talamasca. He read more science fiction than he ever thought he would, mostly Isaac Asimov and Arthur C. Clarke. He enjoyed the hopeful themes of humanity overcoming their petty lives for something greater. Humans that used their gifts for the good of humanity. It was no secret to Yuri that he was reading these books because he needed escape. Besides, reading material that dealt with the big questions of humanity and its place in the cosmos made him feel smaller-but less alone, like he could live vicariously through billions. 

Wasn’t that what he had always done? Yuri had hid behind extravagant stories all his life. At first it was just a game he and his mother would play together, guessing people’s life stories just by looking at them. Later these stories became his own, he used them to distance himself from people. He learned not to trust people, that everyone wants something from you. Nothing is free. 

Yuri had believed this till Aaron Lightner had rescued him from his day by day existence. Aaron helped him because he wanted to make Yuri’s life better, not because he wanted anything from him. Aaron hadn’t taken offense at Yuri’s acidic remarks or inherent distrust of him. Like a stray cat that took forever to warm up to its new caretaker, Yuri fought for months after Aaron took him in. Finally though, Yuri began to rely on Aaron for everything. Maybe that was his downfall. Aaron was the only father figure Yuri ever had, and when he died he was left with so many questions left unanswered. Yuri had so many questions. 

Now, Yuri kept to himself. He refused to visit the London Mother House during holidays, he didn’t even check his emails or voicemails anymore. He spent his days reading, and even occasionally writing although he found little inspiration. 

In the beginning, after the cataclysm in the Talamasca, Yuri had been referred to a psychiatrist. The doctor filled prescription after prescription, Yuri hated taking drugs. It made him feel muddled and even worse than he felt already. Most of the pills found their way down the drain. Yuri was just surviving, constantly on the brink of a breakdown. But, he figured, at least he was aware and not sitting a drug filled haze in some mental hospital somewhere. 

It was one night when Yuri was re-reading the last book in Asimov’s Foundation series, _Foundation and Earth_ that Yuri heard a knock on his front door. It had almost sounded like nothing, and for a moment Yuri thought he was mistaken. He slowly placed the worn paperback onto the coffee table and stared at the front door. 

Another faint rap at the door, Yuri slowly got up and walked towards it. He wasn’t sure why, but he felt suddenly very groggy and the room appeared smoky. He laughed inwardly, it smelled like cigarettes, like Turkish Royals, the brand he used to smoke before Aaron had broken his habit. The smell was immensely comforting and Yuri thought he might go out to buy a pack after he sent whoever was knocking on his door away. 

“Who is it?” Yuri called, body leaned against the mahogany door. 

“It’s me, Yuri. May I come in?” 

Yuri felt goosebumps erupt over his skin, his hands sweated and his heart beat violently against his chest, drowning out all his senses. Desperately, Yuri unlocked the many locks keeping him from seeing the man that he couldn’t believe was on the other side of the door. All this was wiped away in seconds however, as Yuri swung open the door.  
He looked _exactly_ the same. So much so that Yuri thought he was hallucinating.  


Ash stood like he had like the first time Yuri had seen him. Tall, elegant looking in a black wool three piece suit, a blood red tie around his long white neck, the white of the dress shirt crisp and clean. A flash of a gold linked bracelet on his left wrist. His demeanor was relaxed, warm even. Just like he had been that night at Clairidges. Suddenly, Yuri felt very self-conscious, he knew he looked like hell.  
Regardless, Yuri was speechless. He couldn’t believe that Ash was standing at his doorstep, or that he looked so happy to see him. 

“Ash…of course, please…” Yuri said dreamily, stepping aside for Ash to enter. A ghost of a smile crept across Ash’s full mouth and he went through the threshold into Yuri’s flat.  
  


The saying “butterflies in your stomach”, was it a universal saying? What did people say or think when they had this feeling, but there were no butterflies on their place on the planet? Are butterflies everywhere? Could butterflies survive on the space station? Are there extra-terrestrial butterflies? God, is this real? 

Ash strode into the room, he seemed to shine his own light onto the dusty monk like cave that is Yuri’s living room. He seemed completely apart from everything else in the room, ethereal and otherworldly. Yuri held his breath, hoping he wasn’t dreaming. 

There was his life before the gypsies took him, his life after he was rescued by Aaron and there was his life after Ash. Ash was the mystery in his life. Not that he was a Taltos or a being that had lived seven thousand years, but that he was this person in Yuri’s life that had baffled and enticed him. All that Yuri went through, Aaron’s death, his breakdown, all of the events that led to him forsaking the only true home he ever knew was somehow justified by meeting Ash. 

_Maybe we are gypsies too, Yuri…_

“Please…sit, I’ll get us some coffee, just a moment.” Yuri dazedly said. This was sensory overload. For just a moment Yuri came within two feet of Ash, catching that distinct sweet scent that could only mean Taltos. It never occurred to Yuri during their harrowing venture eight years ago how Ash really did smell different from humans. It was sweet, intoxicating and instantly transported Yuri back to the limo ride where they escorted Gordon as a prisoner to his home…the light touch of Ash’s hand on Yuri’s leg during the ride… 

“I don’t want to be any trouble…” 

“No, no please, I’m happy you’re here.” Yuri choked out that last bit, feeling his heart beat out of his chest. 

That smile again, soothing and honest. Yuri had looked for that calming smile in others since, and had found no one had that smile but Ash. It was like a spell.  
Ash sat down in the biggest arm chair Yuri owned, a ratty old thing that desperately needed to be upholstered. He crossed one long slender leg over the other, looking completely relaxed and…at peace. 

Almost tripping over his bare feet Yuri stumbled into his small kitchen and set to work shakily preparing the French press. After boiling the water he attempted to catch his breath, finding it impossible. Suddenly, his mind clicked and he remembered that he kept a pack of cigarettes just for this kind of reason. _How ridiculous of me to have forgotten…of course…_

Above the refrigerator he found the crumpled pack of Turkish Royals. Tentatively, he smelled the box, they were not moldy and smelled delicious. Yuri packed the cigarettes on his palm and fished one out, realizing he didn’t have a lighter or any matches Yuri removed the boiling pot of water and leaned down to light the end of the cigarette with the exposed flame. 

The first inhale sent him reeling. He hadn’t smoked in at least twenty years, but the smoke assuaged his anxiety just like how it used to. Just like an old friend. Yuri leaned against the counter, and exhaled with a sigh. Once the immediate high died away, Yuri finished preparing the coffee. As the coffee brewed, Yuri attempted to gather himself. 

Out of the corner of his eye Yuri spotted Ash sitting in the big arm chair. He really did look exactly as he did that first night. His long black hair neatly laid against his back, the two long white streaks nestled behind his ears, and his whole demeanor was calm, collected. _How could he be so calm? Doesn’t he feel guilty about waiting all these years? How did he know where to find me?_ Yuri felt something he hadn’t felt in years; anger. 

Yuri spun around and violently put out the stub of his cigarette in a dish and strode out with big steps back to the living room. He felt unhinged, and more than a little hurt. “Ash, why are you here?” 

Ash ripped his eyes from Yuri. His gaze falling to the floor, his smile disappeared and he uncrossed his legs. Yuri couldn’t fake pleasantries, couldn’t just keep calm and handle this situation without feeling abandoned. He had kept his promise, he hadn’t tried to contact Ash, he didn’t tell a word of what had happen so long ago to the Talamasca. And Ash couldn’t even keep his promise. Eight years was not soon. 

“I am sorry, Yuri.” Ash responded, raising his eyes to meet Yuri’s finally. Ash looked immensely sad. _Is he trying to manipulate me?_

“That’s it?” Yuri asked, feeling emotionally drained only three sentences in to the conversation. “Eight years, Ash.” Yuri suddenly remembered, “How did you find me?” 

“I understand why you are upset, Yuri. I didn’t mean for it to be so long. A lot has happen.” Ash rose to his full seven foot height and walked over to him. “You deserve better.” 

Yuri felt Ash bearing down on him, instantly melting Yuri’s angry countenance. The man just had this calming effect that was impossible to resist. His height should have made one feel intimidated, a less informed human may have tried to bulk their form up to look bigger than they were-like you were fending off a giant bear. Hadn’t Yuri been told some awful tale about a boy who ran away and was eaten by bears from one of his uncles? Well, Ash was certainly no bear. Ash had only ever exuded warmth and affection toward Yuri. 

“I don’t have much time.” Ash looked up suddenly, like was seeing something behind Yuri, he nodded like he was answering someone, then he gripped Yuri’s shoulders with his long spidery hands. “I’ve missed you, I was worried when you left the Talamasca.” 

Yuri felt hot, he couldn’t remember the last time someone had been this close to him physically. Something like electricity coursed through his body when Ash touched him. Yuri thought about holding on to the little amount of anger he still had, step away from Ash, and demand him to tell him exactly what had happened. Instead, Yuri stared at the floor. 

“I’ve missed you too.” Yuri mumbled. He felt Ash pull him in closer and wrap his arms snuggly around him. Yuri felt warm and safe for the first time in years. He breathed in Ash’s scent, sighing shakily. 

“I swear, Yuri, I wanted to come to you sooner. Please forgive me.” 

“Can I? I want to. It’s been so long…” Yuri looked up into Ash’s large brown eyes and like he had so long ago. Starved of affection for so long, Yuri found himself kissing Ash’s lips. 

It felt different than their first kiss from so long ago. This kiss was more passionate, and needier, Yuri couldn’t help but slip his tongue in to explore Ash’s mouth. Ash moved a hand to gently but firmly hold Yuri’s lower back, pulling him closer to his body. 

Yuri had been with more men than he could count. Some out of necessity, some out of choice, but this kiss was by far better than any kiss he had ever shared with someone. Yuri felt his legs tremble, he stood on his tip toes to get closer to Ash, bringing his hands up to bury his fingers in his hair. Ash’s free hand cupped Yuri’s face gently. Ash pulled away from the kiss but held their embrace. Yuri searched dilated half lidded eyes, his mind was remarkably blank. Blessedly blank. 

“Let me spend the night here, with you? Allow me to make this right. There are things I need to tell you.” 

“Yes, please,” _God, do you understand how badly I’ve needed you?_ “Don’t leave…” _I just need tonight, one night…_

_What is happening? How is this happening?_ Yuri was worried he would wake up and be disappointed at any minute. _Surely I fell asleep while reading…_ However, he could not deny the very real pulsating body, hot and alive just next to him. Yuri could feel Ash’s heart beating against his own. _No, this is real. It must be…_

“Where have you been all this time? You never answered me.” 

There was a long pause, Ash released Yuri from his embrace. His eyes downcast. 

_I’ve been working on something, something very important to me. I was a fool. I made the same old mistake…_

Ash’s voice echoed through Yuri’s mind. He had been on the receptive end of telepathy more than a handful of times, and he wasn’t one to mask his mind from people he trusted, hearing Ash’s voice in his head felt strangely intimate. 

_It’s over. It is out of my hands now. Please, Yuri, don’t send me away._

It was as if Ash had cast a spell on him. The raw emotion of Ash’s words made him curse himself for ever asking. There was something desperate and altogether panicked in the way Ash begged Yuri to not send him away, as if Yuri ever would. Yuri sensed something terrible had happened. 

Just like when Michael tried lying to him over the phone about Ash. This was something that had put a wedge between Rowan, Michael and Ash. The realization came as a shock to Yuri, the three obviously had chemistry, even if they were all unsure of Ash at first. Was it Rowan? Did Ash try to get in between the couple? Yuri banished it from his mind. He could not believe this of Ash, if anything, he would have gone to them both. _Am I…jealous? It would explain why Michael didn’t want to tell me the truth…_

“I could never send you away. You’ve spoken to Rowan and Michael.” Yuri stated, hoping Ash would come forward with the information without Yuri having to pull it out of him. Ash’s face darkened and he broke all eye-contact. _Ah, of course…_

“I haven’t seen them in years…” Ash whispered, staring down at his hands. “Just once.” 

Yuri felt guilty. Eight years of feeling abandoned, stranger in the only home he ever knew, and his eventual exodus from the Talamasca seemed a thousand miles away now. The pain was evident on Ash’s face. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to pry. I was only…worried.” Yuri laid his hands warmly over Ash’s larger ones. Taken aback at how cold they were. 

“What about you Yuri?” 

“I’m well.” Yuri lied. 

Ash rose his eyebrows in disbelief. Then looked around at the piles of papers, books and codex’s, loose and bound, empty coffee cups from various cafes and mugs lining all the counters, the overall dust. 

_Fine, I’ll tell him._

“I try to keep busy. I read a lot. I do some independent investigation for the Order but I don’t take orders from anyone anymore. Superior or Elder. I can’t stand to be in either the London or Amsterdam motherhouses. _It’s suffocating._ I keep myself busy. I’ve been fine,” _I’ve been to ten different psychiatrists and psychologists in the past eight years._ “I go out with friends from Oxford,” _I don’t know who to trust anymore. It’s been so painfully lonely._

_Oh Yuri, I am so sorry._ Ash whispered into his mind, reaching up to tuck a few strands of Yuri’s hair behind his ear. The gesture tender, Ash’s fingers resting at the nape of Yuri’s neck. Ash saw him and what he meant, knew the pain Yuri had been through since Aaron’s death and the loneliness he felt. 

That’s all it took for Yuri to forgive him _Why does he always have to see me like this?_ Fat tears collected in his eyes, threatening to spill at any moment. _God it feels so good to have him here, what if he disappears? How do I keep him here?_

_Come here…_

The two sat across from each other on the couch. Ash still holding Yuri’s hands. Silence preceded, Ash gently rubbing Yuri’s hands, and Yuri struggling to think of something to say. 

“I have never been able to make you smile have I?” Ash smiled weakly. 

“That’s not true…I don’t think I ever gave you a chance.” Yuri blushed, embarrassed. 

After Yuri returned to the Talamasca he would visit Tessa in Amsterdam every once in a blue moon. The woman had always put him off, even though the poor creature held no malice toward him. On a few occasions they had had spectacular discussions about linguistics and how she would pronounce things in her own language-a kind of Scottish Gaelic Yuri had never heard before. Yuri came to understand that it was similar to the known Scottish Gaelic, and that it may have even spawned all of the Gaelic in Scotland. Yuri wasn’t sure. He did learn a very old Scottish Gaelic from her however. A kind of dialect he assumed was extinct. 

“Ash… _Tha gaol agam ort."_

_“Tha gaol agam ort-fhèin.”_

“Did I pronounce it right?” Yuri asked, ever the perfectionist. 

A wide smile broke out over Ash’s face. “Perfect. _Ba mhaith liom tú anseo anois.”_

Yuri gasped, a hand coming up to cover his mouth. “I…Ash I haven’t done-or even been with-“ 

“Shush, don’t worry. I think I know how to put a smile on your face.” 

“Ash-“ 

Ash was apparently done talking however, he pulled Yuri into a warm hug and rested his chin on top of Yuri’s head. _I don’t have much time left. My life is coming to an end, after all these long years, I’ll finally be able to rest. I know you have questions. And they will be answered soon, but tonight Yuri, I just want to spend it with you. I never had the chance before…this may be my last chance._

Yuri shivered at these words being whispered inside his mind. Was Ash dying? He looked healthy, he didn’t appear to look any different from the first time they met. 

“Ash what can I do to help you? I can call Rowan, she will know what to do. Whatever happened in the past I’m sure she will look past it to help you.” Ash shook his head and peppered kisses over Yuri’s head. 

_There is nothing to be done now, at least, not for me._

Yuri could feel tears fall from his cheeks. “If not for you, then who?” 

Ash looked down at Yuri, gently wiping away his tears. His eyes were intense, for the first time Yuri noticed the bright green specs hidden in warm hazel. Ash looked to have some urgency his face, pleading with Yuri to understand. _For now, let me be with you, I promise you I will tell you more before the sun rises._ Yuri felt a deep sense of foreboding wash over him. But the desperation in Ash’s eyes was enough to quiet his questions…for now.


End file.
